Friday, October 29, 2010

Welcome to Beautiful Europa








Recently I have undergone a search for clarity of my person that has ripped my soul apart.
For the past few months I have been paralyzed by indecision and fear for many reasons, too complex to enumerate here. Perhaps I have been afflicted with Quantum Delirium.

But I came across a note written by myself on the verge of this state. I find great comfort in it.


Love,

In approximately two billion years, the sun will begin its expansion and demise, in pulses. The first pulse will sterilize the Earth, making its surface molten, and glowing a dull red in the dazzling light of the enlarging Sun. Europa will become a luscious water planet...of course there won't be any oxygen to breathe. The Sun will pulse a few more times, and in four billion years will shrink down on itself. Europa will freeze again. And in the very distant future...billions of years from now, our expanding universe will have progressed to a point where galaxies aren't just moving away from each other...planets aren't just moving away from stars, and stars from themselves...but atoms will rip apart and move away...Everything will be gone, extinguished.

And so you know what? I am going to enjoy my Crunch Berries. And kiss you. Passionately. And if I don't do well in Calculus Based Physics II, that's okay. I am alive. And I love you. I am going to live life, and savor it, with an understanding that it is futile to try and worry about the small details of the future...because really, there won't be anything in two billion years that will be affected by my small decisions. We are all just dust and air and atoms that are one day going to rip apart and never make contact again. So lets love each other, and see the world, and read as many good books as possible...millions of years from now our books will be little rectangles of carbonized matter, with no printed words to discern. So let's read together. And never stress unnecessarily about silly things ever again. I can't wait to see you tomorrow! I am going to give you a beautiful kiss...and continue to kiss you many times. I look forward to our future. Whether we become Astronauts, or scientists, or whether we join the Peace Corps, and write philosophical novels is unimportant. I look forward to our future because I know I will always treasure waking up next to you. I will always enjoy tucking into your side on a couch. I will always enjoy being held close in your arms. I look forward to eating dinner with you...making dinner...and washing the dishes with you. You are my love. Perhaps love will resist the Sun's expansion...perhaps love cannot be pulled apart like the universe will be. Love has no physical substance. Love will be there, perhaps. And so, I will love you forever...as long as forever is.

- Marilyn


This note fills me up. I wish that I could make her a cup full of warm tea and encouragement. She was very wise. I think that she would approve of the the happiness I've found in my little sister's fairy house, and the Bird's Nest Fungus growing in my backyard.









Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Words I savor.


This poem sticks thick in my heart.

Here a pretty baby lies,
Sung asleep with lullabies:
Pray be silent and not stir
Th' easy earth that covers her.

- Robert Herrick




A tea-time read.




I offer you an article from one of my most beloved magazines, Wired, that has put some thoughts I have had for a while into words...


Appeal to the Heart

Climate change is real Evolution is true. And science needs to up its PR game

On the final day of last winter's meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, a panel convened to discuss the growing problem of climate change denial. It went poorly. Rather than brainstorming methods for changing public perception, the speakers wasted three hours trying to find someone to blame. Was it an anti-global-warming campaign by the coal industry? Journalists trying to make their stories appear "balanced"? The Climate-gate emails from the University of East Anglia?

But those are the wrong questions. What the scientists should have been asking was how they could reverse the problem. And the answer isn't more science; it's better PR. When celebrities like Tiger Woods or Tom Cruise lose control of their image, they don't waste time at conferences. They hire an expert. What the climatology community needs is a crackerjack Hollywood PR team.

Climate scientists know people don't believe them; they just haven't responded well. "They have to do a better job than the other side," says Kelly Bush, founder and CEO of ID, the entertainment industry's largest independently owned PR firm. Bush's clients include Patrick Stewart, Dustin Hoffman, Ellen Page, and comeback king Pee-wee Herman.

Bush says researchers need a campaign that inundates the public with the message of science: Assemble two groups of spokes-people, one made up of scientists and the other of celebrity ambassadors. Then deploy them to reach the public wherever they are, from online social networks to The Today Show . Researchers need to tell personal stories, tug at the heartstrings of people who don't have PhDs. And the celebrities can go on Oprah to describe how climate change is affecting themand by extension, Oprah's legions of viewers.

"They need to make people answer the questions, What's in it for me? How does it affect my daily life? What can I do that will make a difference? Answering these questions is what's going to start a conversation," Bush says. "The messaging up to this point has been 'Here are our findings. Read it and believe.' The deniers are convincing people that the science is propaganda."

In a handful of cases, nonprofits are trying to do what scientists won't. A group started by high-profile blogger Anil Dash, Expert Labs, is helping the White House with outreach to scientists, and Dash is operating from the same playbook as Bush. "We need to make the narrative more compelling. Scientists risk their lives and fortunes to do something that is, in many cases, an act of faith. They're heroes. It's a beautiful thing," Dash says. "Imagine the impact if a scientist said, 'I've been working in climate science for 20 years, and it breaks my heart that people don't believe in what I do.'"

This kind of talk unsettles scientists. "Scientists hate the word spin . They get bent out of shape by the concept that they should frame their message," says Jennifer Ouellette, director of the Science and Entertainment Exchange, a National Academy of Sciences program that helps connect the entertainment industry with technical consultants. "They feel that the facts should speak for themselves. They're not wrong; they're just not realistic." By and large, Dash says, "scientists have withdrawn from the sphere of public culture. They have contempt for the lighthearted fun of communication."

"Scientists feel the facts should speak for themselves. They're not wrong; they're just not realistic."

It didn't even occur to the AAAS panelists that someone might find that here's-the-data-we're-right attitude patronizingand worthy of skepticism. "Until scientists realize they need us, we can't help them," Bush says. "They have to wake up and say: 'I recognize it's not working, and I'm willing to listen to you.' It's got to start there." Science increasingly must make its most important cases to non-scientistsnot just about climate but also evolution, health care, and vaccine safety. And in all of those fields, the science has proven to be incapable of speaking for itself. It's time for those with true passion to get over the stigma, stand up, and start telling their stories.

By: Erin Biba

http://www.wired.com/magazine/?intcid=gnav


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

In need of a cup of tea...

A dear friend sent this to me a while back...it touched a part of me deeply, and I think of these words often.


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

-Mary Elizabeth Frye



Saturday, June 19, 2010

New Baby!

Welcome home, Baleen Ada-bell Mordecai! Made of a years worth of laundry lint, string, pantyhose, and some broken bits of human wisdom teeth! Awwwww.....




Monday, June 14, 2010

Dynastes tityus


Excellent news!!! The newest edition to my collection - the lovely beetle I have pictured below - is a female Dynastes tityus. A lovely bug that is part of the Scarabaeidae family!!! I have a North American Scarab beetle!




Sunday, June 13, 2010

If'n you wanted to know me...

Here are are some of the happiest things to look at in my room...






Thursday, June 10, 2010

Musings....

Okay, so this turned out to be very long...

Throughout history, man has harbored the selfish belief that they mean something and can have an influence on the Universe, all-the-while quite oblivious to their insignificance. I must give a small warning - here we must be cautious; we will be exploring the thoughts of great thinkers in modern physics. Einstein marks the birth of this so-called "modern physics" and it is with Einstein that science strays away from common sensual understanding. The ideas I will discuss here require abstract thought, and do not seem immediately natural, or for that matter, realistic.
Let us begin with an excerpt from a eulogy that Albert Einstein gave for a close friend in 1934...

"Now Besso has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."

Einstein is referring to the relativity of simultaneity, a consequence of his theory of special relativity. This is the concept that simultaneity—whether two events occur at the same time—is not absolute, but depends on the observer's reference frame. Before eagerly trying to examine such notions in the vast arena of our own elegant universe, let's apply them to a smaller one. The universe in which the Underground Man exists, (a character in Dostoevsky's Notes from Underground) for example.
The Underground Man tells his imaginary audience in the very opening of his monologue that he "was a spiteful official." A few pages later, he denies this. He says that he "was lying ... when [he] said he was a spiteful official." From the perspective of the Underground Man, the first statement occurred before the second, perhaps a few minutes later - the time between the two statements filled with bitter monologue. For the reader, when we immerse ourselves in the Underground Man's universe, the events of both statements are also sequential. Here however, the linearity is expressed in the amount of space between the statements in a physical sense - the space between the two statements is filled with printed paragraphs of translated Russian literature.
When we discontinue our immersion in this smaller universe and come back to our own, we change our frame of reference. We can now observe the universe of the Underground Man objectively. We will call his universe Notes From the Underground. In this universe, both self-contradicting statements that the Underground Man makes exist simultaneously in two separate places at the same time. In fact, every statement that the Underground Man makes exists simultaneously. The timeline in the universe of Notes From the Underground breaks down. Time, here, is an illusion - every moment is happening, and always will, as it always has, simultaneously forever. Everything that the Underground Man will say or do, cannot be changed, because Notes From the Underground (which is his universe) will not change.
I do not mean for this to prove anything in terms of the autonomy of the Underground Man - yes he is not an autonomous being because he exists within the determined universe of a novel, however, that was a metaphor that I created to aid in the explanation of the relativity of spontaneity. My aim here is greater, for I wish to convince you that no one is autonomous. Let us remove the constrictions of the "novel" and examine whether or not the Underground Man is or is not autonomous in our universe.
The implications of Einstein's theory of special relativity are, to say plainly, disturbing. As the eccentric artist David McDurmott spells out for us, "this moment in time that we're experiencing has always been here and always will be - this moment in time … this is a permanent fixture of the universe". Autonomy of the self...free will...does it really exist? How can it if everything we will ever do has been done and is being done forever? Hard modern physics suggests that free will does not exist. This is a very troubling notion for not just you or I, but also the brilliant minds that work with the mathematical equations that prove these ideas, from Brian Greene to Micho Kaku. Brian Greene offers the Multi-verse theory as consolation. Though fascinating, I do not find it comforting in the face of the dissolution of free will - if every possible choice is made in infinitely many universes, in reality, there is no choice because you will make every choice. Brian Greene is content to accept the illusion of free will within the reference frame of this particular version of the Universe. Perhaps this is healthy.
These implications of the inexistence of autonomy have caused quite a stir in the philosophical and scientific community. One scientist in particular, to be specific, a neuroscientist by the name of Benjamin Libet, decided to examine what happened within the brain when a person made a choice. He did so in an experiment in which he asked volunteers to wiggle their finger at anytime they chose within the space of three minutes. By attaching an electrode to the skulls of volunteers, he was able to record an impulse in the brain called the "readiness potential" that appears when a person makes a decision. This readiness potential had been observed in previous studies, however, Libet wanted to examine, specifically, human will within a decision - so he also recorded the time when a volunteer consciously willed the action of finger movement.
The results were shocking. Libet found that the readiness potential occurred before the person decided to move their finger, and not even just before...but a full 30 seconds before. And so the question was raised - here asked for you by Neurologist V.S. Ramachandran - "if his will came in 30 seconds later, how can the will… have been responsible for the hand movement?"
The unsteadying answer is that will could not have been responsible. And so, we are forced to ask, in the face of not just abstract physics but also hard experimental evidence, are we autonomous? No, it does not seem that way. In the opening of Sir Francis Crick's book, The Scientific Search for the Soul, the renowned scientist states:
"You," your joys and your sorrows, your memories and your ambitions, your sense of personal identity and free will, are in fact no more than the behavior of a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules.

What more is this than a way to say that we are no more than a piano key? Though he denied it, though he fought it, the Underground Man, in his universe or in ours, is not autonomous.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Eager

Something to consider...

On your planet you have an animal called a bear. It is a large animal, sometimes larger than you, and it is clever and has ingenuity , and it has a brain as large as ours. But the bear differs from you in one important way. It cannot preform the activity you cal imagining. It cannot make mental images of how reality might be. it cannot envision what you call the past what you call the future. This special ability of imagination is what has makes your species as great as it is. Nothing else. it is not your ape-nature, not your tool-using nature, not language or your violence or your caring for young or your social grouping. it is none of these things, which are all found in other animals. Your greatness lies in imagination.
The ability to imagine is the largest part of what you call intelligence. You think the ability to imagine merely a useful step on the way to solving a problem or making something happen. But imagining it is what makes it happen.
This is the gift or your species and this is the danger, because you do not choose to control your imaginings. You imagine wonderful things and you imagine terrible things, and you take no responsibility for the choice. You say you have inside you both the power of good and the power of evil, the angel and the devil, but in truth you have just one thing inside you - the ability to imagine.

This is a passage from the novel Sphere by Michael Chrichton. I read this when I was very young, and it has remained with me from that time.

Proem

There is an interesting concept of what the "self" is that I would like to share...

"Man is a bundle, or collection of different perception which succeed one another with an inconceivable rapidity and are in perpetual flux and movement..."
- David Hume, Treatise of Human Nature

I love this concept...I believe that it is a perfectly elegant description of the real self...meaning there is no definitive you...
We can change.

We are constantly changing, evolving, shaped by our experience, emotions, memories, shaped by the people around us, the things we witness and how we react...

I am currently experiencing a strange time in my life. The past year has been difficult for me. So many things have taken place that will change me...due to the complexity of all that has happened, I am unsure of whether or not I have caught up to it all...my "self" is caught in the grey area between reaction and evolution.

I have never not known myself until this year. I have known different selves, many different selves, but not this one, not yet.
It is not a bad thing, in fact, it has the flavor of optimistically awaiting the meeting of a pen-pal...

There are things that I do know about my self, however, that are vitally important to me...They are the core of who I have been in the past, and who I will be...

I am a creature of curiosity - I am fascinated by the world around me. I find the natural world to be an inspiration, the inherent beauty of mathematics and biology are particularly important to me. I love insects. I love looking at the stars...

I will come to this quite little corner of the internet that I can call my own in order to reflect on my evolving self, the world around me, and to share what I do love with those who might stumble across it.

So I lift my glass with you, computer dweller, and toast to the children of the information age trying to find themselves.